Question:

What if I am not married in the Church but feel fine with God?

Answer:

I will speak to you as one who seeks your spiritual good and only your happiness. As you seem to realize, under the law of God, it is not right to live with someone who is not married (this is called concubinage). Those who are not united in a legitimate marriage cannot live together and should either marry according to the law of God or separate. If, for some grave reason, they cannot do either of the two things mentioned, then they must at least live perfect chastity, which includes not only abstaining from sexual relations but also from all expressions of affection that correspond to those who are united in marriage. If two persons of different sexes live under the same roof “as brothers and sisters,” there would be no moral objection, except that this would be for them an occasion of temptation or could be a scandal to others, but if they live affectively as spouses, even if they do not have sexual relations, such a situation is morally wrong.

Regarding your question, I have to tell you that your situation is certainly an obstacle to your spiritual life since it prevents you from having access to the sacraments due to the very situation of sin in which you live. It is a necessary condition for the validity of the sacrament of confession to repent of one’s sins and to firmly resolve to sin no more, that is to say, to fulfill the commandments of God by distancing oneself from sin and the occasions of sin. Whoever does not have these dispositions cannot be forgiven of his sins, nor can he consequently receive communion.

I pray to God that you may soon remedy this situation so that you may find God in the peace of your soul. I entrust you to Our Lady, who is the refuge of sinners (that is, our refuge), and the help of Christians. Do not be afraid to make the decisions that are necessary for the salvation of your soul. Talk to the person with whom you live and to a priest who can guide you better than I can in writing. Also, know that you are not alone and that you can count on the prayers and sacrifices of all the faithful who pray for those who find themselves in situations like yours (and there are many people)

Fr. Miguel A. Fuentes, IVE

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