marriage problems

What to do when Difficulties Arise in Marriage?

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Father, I am going through a very difficult moment in my marriage, and I’m almost at the point of separating.  Many other people get involved (such as my family and those of my husband) and they confuse us with their pressure and counsels, which are at times very contradictory. What do I do?  Please give me some advice.


I repeat the consoling words of Our Lady of Guadalupe to the little Indian, St. Juan Diego, which today she seems to say them to you: “Listen and understand my littlest son, do not let anything trouble your heart, not even the smallest thing. Am I not here who am your Mother? Are you not under my shade? Are you not in my arms?”

Trust in God, do not lose your serenity. There is nothing impossible for God, and any person no matter how hard their heart is, can convert, can change, and go from being a great sinner to a great saint. We have to let God work, and for our part, we have to put all of the necessary means, because God wants our generosity. Talk about you marriage problems amongst yourselves, as an intimate family and bring them to prayer in front of Jesus Christ.  It does not matter how many mistakes we have made in life, as they will stay in the mystery of God’s divine plan.  What is important, is getting up, with the grace of God and keep fighting, and rise from the ashes and ask ourselves, “For what reason has God permitted this in my life? What does He want of me?” What counts in the end is to save our soul and if one gets married, it is to save ones soul, even in a marriage that does not go as plan according to human expectations. Do not let evil win. Beat the evil with the strength of good. 

In regards to the judgements of man, remember what the Apostle says: “It does not concern me in the least that I be judged by you or any human tribunal; I do not even pass judgement on myself,” (1 Cor. 4:3) and later on he adds, “therefore, do not make any judgement before the appointed time, until the Lord comes, for her will bring to light what is hidden in the darkness and will manifest the motived of our hearts, and then everyone will receive praise from God.” (1 Cor. 4:5)

Talk to a priest and go together to see him and intensify your spiritual life.  At least you should try to go to Mass every day, if you can, not just on Sundays, for in Holy Communion, with Christ you will find an irresistible strength. Pray the Rosary every day (hopefully our spouse can also join you in this prayer). Read the Bible at least five minutes a day and meditate a little bit about what read.  Go to frequent confession, more or less every two weeks and dedicate yourself to your spouse. Be merciful with him and help him in this difficult moment.  I invite you to be the strong woman spoken of in Sacred Scripture and whom is praised by the poet: The woman has to be perfect.  And what is a perfect woman, questions the poet, he answers:

She who knows how to suffer

The one who loves everyone 

And knows how to lead them
on the path of duty.

She who sanctifies the home

The one who invokes God
The one who ennobles and dignifies 

Everything she touches

She who a martyr has to be
and faith to all knows how to give
and teaches them to pray
and teaches them to believe

She who from that faith to light
and the impulse of her example
builds in her home a temple
for work and virtue

She who achieves God
She is the perfect woman
and that’s how you have to be
for God to bless you!

Jose M. Gabriel y Galán

Fr. Jon M. de Arza IVE

Original Post: Here

Other Post: Is my wife required to obey me?

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