Question:

My name is T., I live in R., Ecuador, I am married and I have 2 children. Christ is the head of the Church and man is the head of the family. For thousands of years it always was so but in recent times women have become more independent and now no matter how Catholic they are they do not want to obey their husbands by arguing their rights of equality and so on. I said to a priest: my wife does not respect my authority and he told me that you have to earn it… I asked him, how am I going to have to earn what GOD gave me? In short: my wife does not obey me, she thinks that everything should come to a consensus, that if she sees that I am making a bad decision she cannot support me. If that idea were to be followed, then no one could command anywhere because there is always going to be someone who,  with good or bad intention or ignorance,  will question the decisions of the other. I think if I have the authority, my wife should obey me in everything.  If I exercise my authority wrongly then there I would be sinning, but that is my problem, still she must obey.

Answer:

God gave you an authority over your family, based simply on being the husband and father.  But what must be earned is that such authority be loved by your wife and children. We can have authority but it can become hateful, if it is exercised without love or prudence. No one denies the authority of a country’s president, but if he exercises it with despotism, he ends up losing the moral value of it. Jesus is not only our King, but he makes himself loved as such. That is what they were trying to tell you. 

With my blessing. In Christ and Mary

Fr. Miguel Ángel Fuentes, IVE

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